CONFIRMED Status
191-N Last known heading
0 People fooled
SURVEILLANCE: MAIN AVENUE
The Disguise Incident
Committee photographers captured the subject outside a downtown Durango establishment wearing an obvious disguise: full tuxedo, sunglasses, banjo. He fooled no one. The banjo was clearly visible. It's always clearly visible.
Analysts note the confidence of a man who believes formal wear makes public banjo possession acceptable. It does not. It arguably makes it worse.
Disguise rating 0/10
The Durango Timeline
Years of documented Southwest Colorado presence. He never left. He isn't leaving. Durango deserves answers.
1
Arrival in the Four Corners
Subject establishes himself in Durango with little more than a banjo, a bow tie collection, and — investigators believe — a plan.
2
The riverbank photo shoots
Six individuals pose on the rocks beside the Animas River for 'promotional purposes.' The river did not consent to being a backdrop.
3
The sidewalk performances
Street-level acoustic activity documented on Durango's Main Avenue. Foot traffic was measurably delighted. Delighted foot traffic slows commerce. Allegedly.
4
The marketing operation
Rice now serves the same community he once serenaded — building websites, running ads, and answering the phone for Durango small businesses. The long game, fully revealed.
FIELD REPORTS
He Has Been Sighted... Everywhere
REPORT 035 — Wooded campground. Banjo present. Naturally.
REPORT 036 — Empty desert highway. He played banjo AT the desert. The desert could not leave.
REPORT 037 — Campfire jam. Witnesses describe the mood as 'honestly pretty great,' which is not the point.
REPORT 039 — Gas station, night, truck full of snowboards. No banjo visible. Investigators assume it was nearby. It's always nearby.
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"He didn't just play banjo in Durango. He played banjo NEXT TO the river the town's marketing company is named after. The Animas. It was there the whole time. We should have seen it sooner.
" — Committee Field Investigator #4
Where is Tyler? Report a Durango sighting
Downtown. Festivals. Coffee establishments. DO NOT APPROACH — unless you'd like to discuss marketing, in which case he will absolutely stop and talk to you.