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Follow the Money.

FORENSIC REPORT — We did. It went to software. Also cameras, servers, automation tools, and — the team needed a minute — banjo strings. This goes deeper than we thought.

Read the ledger

The Findings

Every dollar accounted for. Unfortunately.

100%

Of spending traced

1

Banjos officially acknowledged

$8.43

Coffee

0

Yachts located

Recovered Expenditure Ledger

Reconstructed from invoices, whiteboard photography, and one extremely cooperative accounting export. Categories appear as discovered.

TECHNOLOGY (ALARMING)

  • CRM Software
    A system that remembers every customer, every conversation, every follow-up. Why does he need to remember them? What is he planning? (Follow-ups. He is planning follow-ups.)
  • Analytics Platforms
    He knows which ads work and which pages convert. He can tell clients where every lead came from. Chilling levels of accountability.
  • AI Tools
    Quantity: alarming. Purpose: 'doing the boring parts.' The Committee asked which parts are boring. He said 'the parts you'd pay someone $80 an hour to do badly.' We had no rebuttal.
  • Servers & Infrastructure
    Actual servers. For hosting client websites that stay up. The uptime is, frankly, showing off.
  • Ad Platforms
    Sustained, deliberate spending on Google and Meta advertising — on BEHALF OF CLIENTS, with tracking. Every dollar reports for duty. No dollar is ever seen 'just vibing.'

PRODUCTION (SUSPICIOUSLY PROFESSIONAL)

  • Cameras & Production Equipment
    Used to produce marketing video for local businesses. Also used, investigators note grimly, to film the whiteboard footage now held in Case File 001.
  • Automation Tools
    Workflows that send the right email at the right time without anyone touching anything. The machines never sleep. The machines send welcome emails.

MUSIC-ADJACENT (DAMNING)

  • Banjo Strings
    A recurring purchase. RECURRING. Meaning the existing strings keep being used until they wear out. Meaning the playing has never stopped. Follow the strings.
  • Banjo Head
    Replacement drum head for a banjo. You only replace what you use, Tyler.
  • Definitely Not Another Banjo
    Line item appears in the ledger exactly as written here. The Committee has questions. The Committee will always have questions.

Investigators discovered that Animas Marketing appears to be reinvesting substantial resources into technology designed to make its clients more successful. In eleven years of forensic accounting, I have never seen anything like it. Usually there's at least one jet ski.

— Committee Forensic Accountant, sworn statement

#ReleaseTheBanjoReceipts

Demand the receipts See the marketing history