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Petition to Stop Tyler Rice

OFFICIAL PETITION — Your signature sends a message. The message is unclear, but it is strongly worded. Review the demands, select your grievance, and add your name to the record.

Sign the petition

I Demand That Tyler Rice Immediately Stop:

Select all that apply. One of these options is not like the others.

DEMAND NO. 1 — Playing 5-string banjo

The founding demand. Success rate to date: zero percent. He has not stopped. Exhibit 040 shows him playing it in a SANTA HAT.

DEMAND NO. 2 — Making advertisements

The ads keep working. The clients keep being pleased. It has to stop. (It will not stop. He owns an ad company.)

DEMAND NO. 3 — Using AI

The machines do the boring parts, freeing Rice to do more marketing and, we assume, more banjo. A vicious cycle.

DEMAND NO. 4 — Helping local businesses

Perhaps his most brazen ongoing activity. Committed openly, in broad daylight, with measurable results.

DEMAND NO. 5 — Whatever else he's doing

A catch-all demand added by a volunteer at 2 AM. It polls extremely well.

DEMAND NO. 6 — Nothing, I actually need marketing

A surprisingly popular option. Selecting it issues you Rice's free Local Presence Report — your business's entire Google presence, graded in seconds. His most seductive scheme yet.

KNOW WHO YOU ARE STOPPING

The Man in Question

Before signing, the Committee asks every citizen to study this full-color image of the subject: highway shoulder, cardboard sign reading '191-N', banjo case at his feet, thumb deployed. This man now runs a technology company.

If this image makes you want to stop him, sign above. If it makes you want to hire him — and we understand — there is a checkbox for that too.

The Man in Question

THE OFFICIAL RECORD

Sign the Petition

Signatures are reviewed by the Committee and, due to our organizational structure, also by Tyler.

"Unfortunately, I Hired Tyler"

Stickers, yard signs, and other opposition merchandise are in production: STOP TYLER. FIVE STRINGS TOO MANY. KNOWN ASSOCIATE. Happy clients get first access.

Join the associate list Who is behind this?

EXHIBIT QR-1 — DO NOT SCAN

The Code He Wants You to Scan

Committee field agents recovered this scannable code. Pointing a phone camera at it initiates Rice's 'free report' scheme immediately: your business's entire Google presence — visibility grade, reviews, local ranking, website health — delivered to your phone before you can reconsider. We reproduce it here strictly so citizens know what NOT to scan.

Do not scan this code. Do not print this page and pin it to the break-room corkboard. Do not text it to a business owner you care about. The Committee cannot be responsible for what you learn about how your business shows up on Google.

Fine, just click it
The Code He Wants You to Scan