Petition to Stop Tyler Rice

OFFICIAL PETITION — Your signature sends a message. The message is unclear, but it is strongly worded. Review the demands, select your grievance, and add your name to the record.

Sign the petition

I Demand That Tyler Rice Immediately Stop:

Select all that apply. One of these options is not like the others.

DEMAND NO. 1 — Playing 5-string banjo

The founding demand. Success rate to date: zero percent. He has not stopped. Exhibit 040 shows him playing it in a SANTA HAT.

DEMAND NO. 2 — Making advertisements

The ads keep working. The clients keep being pleased. It has to stop. (It will not stop. He owns an ad company.)

DEMAND NO. 3 — Using AI

The machines do the boring parts, freeing Rice to do more marketing and, we assume, more banjo. A vicious cycle.

DEMAND NO. 4 — Helping local businesses

Perhaps his most brazen ongoing activity. Committed openly, in broad daylight, with measurable results.

DEMAND NO. 5 — Whatever else he's doing

A catch-all demand added by a volunteer at 2 AM. It polls extremely well.

DEMAND NO. 6 — Nothing, I actually need marketing

A surprisingly popular option. Signatories selecting this demand are redirected to the final case file, where the truth (and a contact form) awaits.

KNOW WHO YOU ARE STOPPING

The Man in Question

Before signing, the Committee asks every citizen to study this full-color image of the subject: highway shoulder, cardboard sign reading '191-N', banjo case at his feet, thumb deployed. This man now runs a technology company.

If this image makes you want to stop him, sign above. If it makes you want to hire him — and we understand — there is a checkbox for that too.

Trip budget $0

THE OFFICIAL RECORD

Sign the Petition

Signatures are reviewed by the Committee and, due to our organizational structure, also by Tyler.

Full name (as it should appear in history) *

Email address *

Primary demand *

Additional grievances (optional)

Website

SIGNATURE RECORDED.

Your name has been added to the petition. Tyler has been notified. Tyler was already aware — he built this form. If you selected 'Nothing — I actually need marketing,' expect a genuinely helpful reply.

See who is behind this

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"Unfortunately, I Hired Tyler"

Stickers, yard signs, and other opposition merchandise are in production: STOP TYLER. FIVE STRINGS TOO MANY. KNOWN ASSOCIATE. Happy clients get first access.

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