7 Releases issued
1 Emergency alerts
0 Retractions (so far)
The Press Releases
A complete communications history of the STOP TYLER campaign.
1
Committee formed; Tyler unmoved
The Committee to Stop Tyler Rice announces its existence. Reached for comment, Rice reportedly said 'oh no' in a tone witnesses describe as 'delighted.'
2
Subject enters downtown coffee establishment
TYLER SIGHTING — 11:43 AM. Rice has reportedly entered a downtown Durango coffee establishment. He ordered a medium. DO NOT APPROACH. Unless you'd like to discuss marketing, in which case he will talk to you for a genuinely useful amount of time.
3
44 archival photographs received
An anonymous source (Facebook) delivers forty-four photographs spanning the 2013–2018 banjo era. The evidence team worked through the night, mostly laughing.
4
Tyler Rice responds to the allegations
Full text: 'I have been advised by counsel to stop responding to these people.' Counsel could not be reached, because counsel is also Tyler.
5
'Animas isn't even denying it'
Animas Marketing confirms Tyler Rice owns the company. The Committee notes this is not a denial. Animas notes it was not meant to be. Communications have stalled.
6
Redacted banjo ledger obtained
A partially redacted expenditure ledger surfaces, confirming at least one 5-string banjo, recurring string purchases, and an $8.43 coffee. Full fragment published at /receipts/. #ReleaseTheBanjoReceipts
7
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Rice has reportedly been seen carrying a banjo case downtown. The case appeared full. Citizens are advised to remain calm and enjoy the show if one develops.
PRESS DESK
Media Inquiries
Is the Committee available for interviews?
Yes, subject to scheduling, anonymity requirements, and our media coordinator's availability. Our media coordinator is a whiteboard.
Can we interview Tyler Rice?
Tyler is unavailable for comment. Tyler is also, structurally speaking, the person who would approve the interview request. We recognize this creates what journalists call 'a conflict' and what we call 'Tuesday.'
Where do we send corrections?
The tip line. Corrections are processed by the Truth Division and ruled upon at /fact-check/. Historically, every correction has made things worse for us.
Is any of this real?
The photos are real. The banjo is real. The marketing company is real and, by all accounts, quite good — which is the scandal. The Committee is satire, produced by Animas Marketing, which is owned by Tyler Rice. See /who-is-behind-this/ for the full unraveling.